BlabberMouse

Renew Your Minds

Have you ever encountered a piece of art that is so powerful, there are no words to describe it?

Something so inspired, you know the ones who created it were moved directly by God's hand?

Please, take a moment out of your busy day to watch this.

Larry and I Have Gas, Do You?

I finally got a reasonable sounding explanation about why Middle Tennessee is THE ONLY PLACE IN THE UNITED STATES THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANY GAS.

Thank you, NPR. Larry did find gas this morning at the Exxon in East Nashville (just off 65) but the pumps are rigged to go very slooooooooooooowly, and then they never turn off, so you will overflow your tank. Be prepared.

If you're from the Nashville area, you'll find this video amusing. If you're not, never fear. I have treats for you too, my little pets!

I bring you my Men of the Vatican Pinup Calendar, straight from Rome. My aunt Elizabeth got it for me for my birthday, along with a beautiful water pitcher that actually whistles when you pour water out of it. It doesn't mean to whistle, but something about the way it's constructed makes it so. I got up at 3 in the morning to get a glass of water, and the pitcher actually gave me a cat call. I was all, thanks! (I've still got it.)

Without further ado, here are the Men of the Vatican:

Mr. Gennaio


Mr. Febraio

Mr. Marzo

Mr. Aprile

Mr. Maggio

Cheer up, Mr. Giugno! We do too take you seriously!

Mr. Luglio

Mr. Agosto

Mr. Settembre (My personal favorite, because he's "a reader.")

Mr. Ottobre

Mr. Novembre disappeared from my desktop, sorry.

But here's Mr. Decembre (who is making me wonder if this is actually a Bellhop calendar and not a Men of the Vatican calendar.)

Regardless, I think you'll agree there's a little something for everyone here, no?

Jesus, I Don't Know! Should We Hire This Person?

I came home for lunch to find a roofer's business card scotch taped to our front door:

Normally I might hesitate before hiring a company called ROOF LEAKS (since 1985) to repair my roof. Just as I might hesitate before purchasing a bra from a store called BOOBS SAG. Or visiting a medical practice called PEOPLE GET SICK AND DIE.

But then I saw the little fish at the bottom of the card, which totally put my mind at ease. I mean, if they can put Jesus down as a reference, they must be good.

I wonder why others aren't clever enough to use Jesus as a marketing tool.

Who better to endorse the Victoria's Secret Miracle Bra than the son of God? He could be all, "Miracles really do happen. (Wink, Wink.)"

Or Purity Ice Cream: "Other frozen dairy products claim to taste heavenly. But take it from one who knows."

Or Baker's Yeast: "When it comes to rising ..."

I'm just saying.
UNTAPPED RESOURCE.

And on the fourth day, He ateth of the chocolate

SETTING: LARRY STUMBLES UPON A PUBLIC TELEVISION DOCUMENTARY ENTITLED "AN ARCHITECTURAL HISTORY OF NASHVILLE'S SACRED SPACES."

LARRY: Isn't this the documentary that your old company was publishing a book about?

AMANDA: Yes! Oh my god. It's telethon week. I wonder if they'll have the balls to promote that wretched book at Intermission!

GUS: (Looking at the screen) What is that, Mommy?

AMANDA: That's the inside of a church.

GUS: Where God lives?

AMANDA: Right. A church is a house of God.

GUS: HE LIVE IN THERE?

AMANDA: Or SHE.

GUS: She live in there?

AMANDA: Heh heh. Yeah. She/he, who knows?

LARRY: God is not a person, Gus.

AMANDA: That's right. He's a higher power.

GUS: He take a shower in there?

AMANDA: Perhaps.

GUS: That's his home?

AMANDA: Yeah.

GUS: What else he do there?

AMANDA: Well, you tell me. What do you think God likes to do?

GUS: He like to take a shower.

AMANDA: Sure, and what else?

GUS: He plays with toys.

AMANDA: Okay. And what else?

GUS: He eat a lot of candy.

AMANDA: Interesting. Do you think God is a chocolate guy, or a Skittles guy?

GUS: He like the choc-o-late.

AMANDA: Ya think?

GUS: Yeah, mommy! He do. He eat the chocolate in his house.

I Live, I Learn, I Share My Wisdom

When your boss looks at your team all doe-eyed and says, "I care about my people. I really do." Just smile and nod appreciatively. Laughing and snorting will only make him think you don't believe.

Don't tell anyone you think Nicole Ritchie looks better now that she's a size zero.
Even though you know it's true.

Oh stop. You know it's true.

And finally, leaving your deodorant in your makeup bag, in your car, in August, in Nashville?
A deodordon't.